"He's a great guy, if only he didn't get so angry".......
Ever wonder why you explain and explain, but your mate can't seem to really hear you and is often agitated?
Controllers can be quite charming when desiring to attract a mate, but subconsciously, they are looking for a partner to do a humanly impossible task; to complete them. Often described as great guys by their coworkers and friends, yet the family members, who live with these people intimately, come to know a very different side of them. It may be of no surprise that controllers consider themselves to be good guys, but controlling people operate on an unrealistic and sub-conscious principal that they are the only person in the relationship whose needs matter. In essence, after the courtship is over, it is my mate's job to "complete me." From this basis, the trouble begins.
Controllers see themselves as victims, while they torment and rage at those around them with volatile anger which seemingly comes from nowhere.
We all have experienced disappointment in our lives, but controllers do not hope for a certain outcome, they expect it. In this manner they justify their anger and truly believe that they are the victim in the relationship.
It is possible to:
CREATED TO LIVE
change is possible
WholeLife Counseling was formed out of my passion to counsel people who desire to rid themselves of anxiety and depression, who want to learn healthy patterns of relating including the healthy expression of disappointment and anger, and who ultimately desire to feel whole. I specialize in working with and supporting partners of sexual addicts whose lives and families have been broken by a mates addiction to pornography and risky sexual behavior. I also specialize in verbal abuse counseling for people who have been or are currently involved in a relationship with a highly self-absorbed person. Both of these types of damaging relationships are full of emotional and verbal abuse which often goes undetected and leads a person to feel crazy.
fight the new drug:
Working together to lift you out of
hopelessness for the treatment of depression, anxiety, intimate betrayal, trauma and abuse.
An overarching goal is.....
to join with clients in working together to put an end to the cycle of multi-generational abuse. We must be willing to honestly evaluate ourselves and our relationships, learn and be willing to stand firm against unhealthy patterns of relating, both within ourselves and our relationships. It is imperative for our own health, that of our children’s and their children.
YOU were MEANT TO BE.
"I no longer have panic attacks and am now seeing that I do have choices. Instead of feeling like a victim, I now feel able to direct my future. Thank you so much, Marian, for your dedication to your clients and for your warmth and understanding.
"Marian is the first counselor who has truly been able to help our marriage. We are now able to look upon each other with care whereas before it was contempt. It has truly been a blessing for us and our family.
Couples Counseling Client,Worthington
"I was raised by a mom who was and still is so demeaning of every thing I do. I then married a man who came to do more of the same. Marian has helped me to change the way I deal with the difficult people in my life to the point that I feel in control and their behavior doesn't affect me personally like it used to. It has made all the difference in my life.
"Marian helped me see the person I was, and the reasons I acted the way I did. Once I came to terms with my controlling behaviors, she helped me to learn how to better communicate with my wife and family, and all those around me. Looking back, I can't figure out what I used to be so mad about. I cannot thank her enough for her counseling, Godly insight and words of encouragement.
Verbal Abuse Counseling
the unrecognized abuse
Marian Arend, LPC, CCPS, TRE
Liscensed Professional Counselor
Clinical Certified Partner Specialist
TRE Provider, Level l & Level ll
Director, WholeLife Counseling