SOle mates aren't discovered,
THEY ARE CREATED
Often, we must search out and take control of the patterns and beliefs which served us well in coping during childhood and adolescence, but that no longer make positive contributions to our current relationships. Healthy emotional regulation is the ability to stay in the here and now and create win/win solutions which are respectul and considerate of all parties involved. Ironically, it is when we are able to give up on being "right" that we actually heal ourselves. If healthy relational skills were not learned in your family of origin, the good news is they can be learned now. Remember, contrary to popular belief, soul mates are not discovered, they are created Know that life can be different!
yearning for health & harmony
Healthy relationships with some unhealthy communication patterns differ greatly from abusive relationships in which one or more of the partners is emotionally dysregulated. In healthy relationships, whether it is husband and wife, or mother and daughter, each respects and is able to empathize with the other’s position. In healthy relationships, one person is allowed to have bad day, which all of us do on occasion, without it becoming a huge ordeal for everyone.
When you share a feeling with your mate, is it safe? Do you feel heard and understood?
With some relationships, no amount of hope and effort will ever be enough. It is imperative to find a counselor who can differentiate between mainly healthy relationships with some issues versus unhealthy ones where emotional regulation training is required. Only in this way can the real relational issues begin to be addressed.
"We came for help to recover from an emotional affair. Marian helped me to understand and make changes to my behaviors that lead to the affair in the first place.